Bloopers from Our Fourth Quarter

And here’s what you’ve all been waiting for…

It’s amazing the difference a little word can make!

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She does not recall driving the ambulance to the hospital.

She does not recall driving in the ambulance to the hospital.

 

At least she’s consistent…

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She feels sensually as she did at the time of her last visit.

 

She feels essentially as she did at the time of her last visit.

 

 

Now there’s an graduate course that even beats out basket weaving!

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Mrs. K has been seen in the sleep clinic during her under graduate training for insomnia.

 

Mrs. K has been seen in the sleep clinic for insomnia during her under graduate training.

 

 

Don’t think I’d like her to mind my children…

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She was doing odd jobs for cash and undertaking some child minding services for her spent grandchildren.

She was doing odd jobs for cash and undertaking some child minding services for her seven grandchildren.

 

Is his name Lazurus?

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He died last in August 2015.

He died in August 2015.

 

How many legs did he have?

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… flea bite his last leg

phlebitis in his leg

 

What would this look like?

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He has poor organized facial skills as identified by him. 

He has poor organizational skills as identified by him. 

 

Wondering about what and how would the psychiatrist really know that…

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His mind was wondering throughout the interview.

His mind was wandering throughout the interview.

 

Not a very useful prescription….

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This does constipate a watchful dose.

This does constitute a watchful dose.

 

Different…

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The edema is brownie as opposed to pitting. 

The edema is brawny as opposed to pitting. 

 

Interesting culture….

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She states that in her culture, women were expected to cement to men. 

She states that in her culture, women were expected to submit to men.

 

How do you allergy test for that…

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The patient has history of possible allergy to buttocks.

The patient has history of possible allergy to Botox

 

Poor Dr. K….

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He had previous stage 3 colon cancer resected in 2012 by Dr. Kruzyk who presents with three lesions peripherally in the liver.  Dr. doesn’t have lesions, should be:  He had previous stage 3 colon cancer, resected in 2012 by Dr. K., who presents with three lesions peripherally in the liver. 

He had previous stage 3 colon cancer resected in 2012 by Dr. Kruzyk who presents with three lesions peripherally in the liver.  Dr. doesn’t have lesions, should be:  He had previous stage 3 colon cancer, resected in 2012 by Dr. K..  He presents with three lesions peripherally in the liver.  

 

Must have been a very windy day…

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He was stopped at a red light.  His vehicle was hit from behind by a large trunk.

He was stopped at a red light.  His vehicle was hit from behind by a large truck.

 

I seem to recall a children’s movie where there were magical doorknobs, but don’t think they used them to steer anything.

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She noted this was about three years ago and has had problems with opening jars, steering cars and doorknobs.

She noted this was about three years ago and has had problems with opening jars, doorknobs and steering cars.

 

Rather interesting job description…

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She works as a French emergent teacher.

She works as a French Immersion teacher.

 

Home many homes does she have?

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She still resides at her nearest home.

She still resides at her nursing home.

 

Oh no!  Watch out for the zombie apocalypse! 

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As of her last appointment, she has not resumed breathing.

As of her last appointment, she has not resumed reading.

 

 She must have been trying to get on one of those reality shows!

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She studied to be a survivor.

She studied to be a surveyor.

 

And last but not least…  which may need a little explaining. 

This is a Santro car (made by Hyundai). 

Santro

 

 

 

This is a Hasson trochar (a blunt trocar which is inserted into the peritoneal cavity after making a small celiotomy; it’s used for insufflation and introduction of a laparoscope).

Hasson trochar

 

 

 

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Santro car was inserted into the peritoneal cavity. 

Hasson trocar was inserted into the peritoneal cavity.

 

Enjoy!  And please keep sending in your bloopers.

2Ascribe Inc. is a medical transcription services agency located in Toronto, Ontario Canada, providing medical transcription services to physicians, clinics and other healthcare providers across Canada and the US.  Having recently introduced WEBscribe, a client interface portal for document management, 2Ascribe continues to implement and develop technology to assist and improve the transcription process for physicians and other healthcare providers.  As a service to our clients and the healthcare industry, 2Ascribe offers articles of interest to physicians and other healthcare professionals, medical transcriptionists and office staff, as well as of general interest.  Additional articles may be found at www.2Ascribe.com.   

 

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